Monday, July 12, 2010

Random Thoughts...

So, I'm sitting here at work with lots going through my head and it always helps to jot (sp?) them down.

One thought that's been creeping through my mind lately is one that began last Friday morning...

Last Friday I was feeling this longing for change. I'm not one that deals well with change. I am a very organized, plan ahead kind of person. When something doesn't go as I plan or happen as quickly as I'd like I start getting stressed. Case and point: Kenny was accepted to Pharmacy School in January. The month of May approached and after dozens of submitted applications I still didn't have a job. But, my prior planning and preparation worked out in the end because shortly into May I had a job offer in Savannah. My longing for change I think is coming from the monotony of my job. Not only do I do the same thing every single day, but I don't have any interaction with people like in my previous positions. Those interactions broke up the monotonous days of processing. This revelation began while I was going into work on Friday. My lack of variability in my job seeps over into my daily life. By the time I get home it's 6 p.m. and I make dinner, watch tv, check email, etc. and go to bed every. single. day. of. the. week. It shocked me that these thoughts were swimming through my head. I live for routine and enjoy it because I know what to expect. But, I began realizing that the monotony/the invariability/the routine/the expected make for a boring life and one in which you aren't living but just riding through. It makes me sad to think that this is happening. But, for right now I can't change anything. Kenny is in Pharmacy School so I have to suck it up and enjoy my job for what it's worth. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful that I have a job! But, I'm looking forward to the day when I can find a career, not a job. So, for now I'm sticking with my job that will provide me with a FREE Master's degree, given that I am accepted, and longing for that day when change can reer it's long awaited head in the form of a much anticipated career change that will hopefully provide days with variation where I can enjoy my career and live my life instead of floating through it!

And then-Of course with me being the the list-maker that I am, I am thinking of everything that I need to do. In particular, I am paranoid that I am going to forget to do or buy something for my Mom's upcoming birthday trip to Hilton Head at the end of this month. I am so excited that my Mom, aunts, and cousin are coming to my house for lunch on the Friday of our trip. But, that means getting the house clean, making lunch for everyone, etc.! With that said, this is just my cup of tea-I LOVE planning things! I just make obsessive lists, almost DAILY, of what I need to do. Using the list from the previous day, I make another list in hopes that anything I have forgotten the day before will be jogged from my memory so I can add it to today's list. And, the cycle continues until the big day arrives. OCD you ask? Slightly... :)

And lastly, I'm thankful for a hopeful reconnection with lost friends. I had obviously been guilty for losing touch with friends from high school because they'd appeared in my recent dreams. So, I made an attempt to reconnect. It was good to hear that we all felt we had responsibility in our loss of contact with one another. And, while I hate to say that feelings have been hurt and misunderstandings have taken place, we agree to forget about what has happened and move forward. I hope that we will move forward, begin keeping in touch more frequently, and reconnect because I have missed these friends in my life!

Have a Happy Monday! I'm trying to make the most of "one of those days" and you should do the same!

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