I'm Just Full of Contradictions

I began thinking lately about how contradictory I am as a person...

The first is this:

I've mentioned many times before that I'm a planner. To me, however, planning is almost equivalent to wishing your life away because you're constantly looking to the possibilities and hopes of the future and never enjoying the moment. Despite recognizing it that way, I love planning for the future and creating an image, in my hopeful mind, of what will be. This means I look forward to the future, right? Well, not exactly...

You see, I'm terrified of growing old and "no longer existing". This is something I don't ever think about unless someone else brings up in conversation. If said person does bring up this conversation, I bluntly say "I don't want to think/talk about it" and quickly move on. I'm so uncomfortable with it that, if you didn't notice in the beginning of this paragraph, I grazed over the fact of dying by making it sound more acceptable and phrasing it as "no longer existing." I remember nights when I would walk to my mother's bedside crying and telling her I didn't want to die. A child in elementary school should not worry about such things. A woman my age should not worry about such things. But, alas, I do. So why you ask am I always looking to the future? Yea...can't explain that one.

The second is this:

Again, this deals with the fact that I'm a planner. I love to plan any and all things. However, I would LOVE (so much I can't even express how much) to be that person that spontaneously decides to pack up her things and go on a trip, unplanned. My parents used to do that-just pack up, go on a trip without a hotel reservation and, probably, sometimes not even an exact idea of where they were going. While right now financial woes prevents this from happening, I hope that one day when I'm financially able I'll let loose and go take trips on a whim.

The third is this:

I'm an only child. I, for the most part, got what I wanted growing up. I didn't want for anything, always had sleepovers when I wanted, had the type of birthday party I wanted, got enough Christmas gifts for a family of 5+, and so on. Most only children get used to the idea of getting all the attention and thrive on it right? (I assume this because my only child/dog "Moose" is an attention hog and does not like when he's not getting it, even for a minute). Not me. I despise/loathe/hate, whatever you want to call it, being the center of attention. I can feel the heat rising into my face as it turns coke-bottle red when my name is called in class, someone approaches me with a question of which I can't prepare an answer for, when the words "Happy Birthday to you" begun being sung to me on an (not so) annual basis. I don't enjoy it. I do, however, begrudingly admit that I do like getting what I want and not ever having to hear the word "no." Eh, not so proud of admitting that one :-/

But, that's me, full of contradictions. I'm sure there are MANY more, but those are the ones I'm aware of and can recognize at the moment.

Personality Profile

I love tests that are scientifically proven to give you an overview of your personality, etc. I took a test in highschool that determined which of 4 colors you were. Each color identified a personality type. While I don't remember all of the colors nor the name of the test, I do remember that I was "blue." Then, when I was working at UWG we did a strengths test that determined our top 5 or 6 strengths in the workplace. That was interesting; I was the only one within the office who had the strength of being "futuristic." I guess it plays to my planning obsession. Those results play well into the results of the test I took today.

This morning I took a Myers-Briggs personality test for work. I took it twice thinking I was answering the same way the 2nd time, but apparently I wasn't because I got a slightly different result. I, personally, feel that each pretty closely describes me so I think I'm borderline between being an extrovert and introvert, because that was the one initial that changed between each result.

I can't paste into my blog, but here are the links to the personality and career profiles:
ESFJ:
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESFJ.html
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ESFJ_car.html

ISFJ:
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ.html
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/ISFJ_car.html

And, get this: I'm married to an INTJ!
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTJ.html
http://http://www.personalitypage.com/html/INTJ_car.html

The main difference between Kenny and I is this:
ESFJ's "need approval of others to feel good about themselves." ISFJ's "need positive feedback from others. In the absence of positive feedback, or in the face of criticism, the ISFJ gets discouraged , and may even come depressed." INTJ's (Kenny) "is not overly demonstrative of their affections, and is likely to not give as much praise or positive support as others may need or desire."

Yea, perfect match! But, we accept and love each other for our differences, right? :)

What's your personality type?

Girls Trip!

The weekend to Hilton Head was a success! Lunch went beautifully and tasted delicious! (will share the recipes below)

Here are some pictures from the fun weekend:

Here are the recipes from Friday's Lunch:

Fruit Dip:

1 package cream cheese, softened

1 jar of Marshmallow Fluff

Mix together thoroughly

Cheesy Onion Dip:

1 C Parmesan cheese, shredded

1 C Provolone cheese, shredded

3/4 C - 1 1/2 C Onion, finely chopped

1 C Mayonnaise

1 T garlic powder

Mix all together and bake 30-40 minutes until cheese melted and slightly brown

Pita Crisps:

1 pkg. Pita pockets

3/4 C olive oil

Ground black pepper

1 T garlic powder

1 t dried parsely

Slice the pita pockets into 8 triangles

Mix all other ingredients and spread onto pita pockets

Bake at 400 F for 5-7 minutes

Chicken Salad Sandwich Paninis:

1.5 lb chicken tenders (will make about 7-8 sandwich servings)

Mayonnaise (as much as desired)

1/4 onion, finely chopped

2 T celery, finely chopped

1 t dried basil

1 t garlic powder

Italian bread slices

Olive oil

Cheese of your choice

Lettuce & tomato, if desired

Boil the chicken, let cool down, then shred

Add in all other ingredients

Put chicken salad & cheese between 2 slices of italian bread, spread olive oil on both sides of the sandwich (only one outside slice of each piece of bread)

Place on Panini Maker for about 5 minutes (enough to slightly heat & melt the cheese)

Add lettuce & tomato, if desired

Lemonade Tea:

1-12 oz. pkg. frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed

3 quarts water

9 tea bags

1 C sugar

1 Orange

1 lemon

Boil the water in a dutch oven

Add tea bags, remove from heat, let steep for 5 minutes

Add sugar and thawed lemonade concentrate

Sit in refrigerator to cool. Once cool, pour over ice and add slices of orange and lemon

Finishing Touches

Well, the weekend of the long awaited "surprise" birthday trip for Mom is quickly approaching. One week from today my Mom, aunts, and cousin will be arriving at my house for lunch before we drive over to Hilton Head Island. I am getting so excited just thinking about getting to see all of them after so long!! Not to mention, I'm excited about having a girls weekend. Finishing touches are going on the to do list for next Friday's lunch menu, which requires a cleaning to do list for company, and a decorating to do list so the house is presentable.

The lunch menu:
Fruit with "homemade" dip
Cheesy Onion Dip with homemade Pita Crisps
Chicken Salad Paninis on Foccacia Bread
Lemonade Tea

The cleaning list:
The entire house (aka: dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, bathrooms, windows, and the list goes on)

**By this list you can deduct that my attempt to make a weekly cleaning schedule didn't last (or even begin for that matter).

Let me preface this next list by saying, I know my house is already presentable, but there have been a few things I've been needing/wanting to get finished around the house and having my family to my house for lunch made the perfect excuse to accomplish those :)

The decorating list:
Placemats & tablecloth-check
Organizing the office-check
Hang pictures in office-partially check
Print and hang wedding pictures in Master
Empty boxes in Master
Hang pictures in Guest room
Hang cabinet in Master bath
Organize misc. bathroom items

Which brings me to my next point- since additional changes have been made to our "new" house stay tuned for more pictures once everything is, finally, officially complete!
Pictures of:
New master bedroom rug & lamps (& hopefully pictures and an organized dresser)
New master bathroom cabinet
New hallway rug
Dining room with new placemats & tablecloth
Organized & decorated office (w/ an ELLIPTICAL, woohoo!!)
New guest bedroom pictures

I've already been lucky enough to be given or buy lots of things I wanted for our home. But, knowing me, of course I'm always thinking of more things I'd like to get to finish the house. But, these are only in my ideal house where I can go buy whatever I want/need:
Reddish living room curtains
New/different office curtains
Dining room area rug
Area rug for guest bedroom
Wall hanging/picture for above the bed in the master
New guest bathroom mat

Plan to Smell the Roses

My father-in-law would say "prior planning prevents piss poor performance" (aka: the 6 P's). Recently I've been considering a different way to end that phrase: "prior planning prevents present appreciation"

What I mean is I'm a planner-I plan get togethers/parties (or would enjoy them if we had friends in Sav'h, lol.), plan my day, plan my weekend, plan dinner, plan my future. I plan every.single.thing. in my life. I don't just let anything take it's course. I don't live in the moment. I take my present life for granted because I'm planning my future so that our life/family is happy and successful. I'm so busy planning my next step that I don't get to enjoy what I've planned. Prior planning prevents you from enjoying the present and appreciating it.

I like to think I'm happy, at least I should be. Everything in my life is going as I, go figure, planned; but, I don't take time to embrace where I'm at and enjoy it. I think I'd be in a much happier place if I took advice from the saying: "take time to smell the roses" for a change instead of planning out my ENTIRE life.